Make Others Feel Good

Published: 02nd August 2007
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If you want more friends, if you want greater success, if you want that big promotion, your primary focus in life should be to make others feel good. When you care about how others feel, and do your best to help out and make sure everyone is having a good time, people will value you and remember you for it. You'll be fun to have around, and earn the respect and admiration of your peers.

Some people live with only themselves in mind. They care only about how best to please themselves. This often leads to negative consequences, as their actions can easily disturb others when they neglect to take the people around them into account.

Have you ever been at a movie and heard someone talking loudly nearby? This probably disturbed you, and detracted from your enjoyment of the film. That person was inconsiderate, and made a bad impression on you. If you saw them later in the lobby, you probably connected your negative feelings with their face. Looks like they made a mistake.

What if they had never opened their mouth during the whole film? Chances are you wouldn't have noticed them at all, and if you saw them in the lobby, they'd have been just another stranger. If they had paid attention to how their actions would have made others feel, they would have avoided making a bad first impression on you. A neutral impression is always better than a bad one, because the latter is more difficult to correct.

In the previous example, being considerate of others' feelings could have led to the avoidance of a negative activity (talking in a movie theatre). But being considerate can also be applied to actively doing something to make someone else feel good. Avoiding bad is fine, but doing good is even better.

When you see someone in need, and you know exactly what to do to make them feel better, why not do it? Friends help each other out. If the person in need isn't your friend, maybe that can change. If your coworker is crying and her mascara is running, offer her some tissues. If you're at a party and everyone's having a good time except for one wallflower, bring them into the fun. If someone drops their things, help them pick them up.

It's so easy to find things you can do to brighten others' days, once you start looking. When you take the opportunity to make things nicer for someone else, by avoiding unpleasantries, being kind, helping out, and solving their small problems, not only do you stand out as a great person, you also become their friend.

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